Mikey, I'm sitting here in my dorm room, after having spent all day moving in. In this crazy bustling city, and I'm thinking of you, per usual. I am finally at the point where I can think of you and smile more than cry.
When I think of you, many moments come to mind. I remember the last time you were at my house. After the usual half hour (plus) conversation with my mother, we went upstairs to hang out and chat. As soon as you walked into my room, you make a comment about the new ridiculously girly color of my room, then made fun of me for having so many books. Typical. You then spread yourself out on my bed, only leaving room for me at the very bottom. Throughout our conversation--which revolved around prom-you were continuously trying to kick me off the bed onto the floor. You seemed to think it was the funniest thing EVER.
There are so many things I loved about our friendship. I loved the hours upon hours we spent on the phone. Even at 2 am when I wanted nothing other than to go to bed, I loved how you would NEVER let me hang up. I loved the random late night taco bell runs, when we didn't even have plans--we would just end up together.
I recently read my diary from eighth grade. I don't think I need to go into detail about that, but it was ridiculous as you can imagine. I don't know how we went from that...one sided...craziness to what we ended up being. I still don't know what that is. However, I know it was very special, and rare. I really can't make sense of it all. We always had that "thing". Vague, yes, but that's what I always called it. There's really no other way to describe it.
We understood each other so well, but it was amazing how often we disagreed--and when we disagreed it was always about the stupidest things--like the word "fine". We wasted so many hours discussing that lame excuse for a word. In the end, you were right. It has no meaning, and it's almost just a way of getting out of telling a truth someone doesn't want to hear.
You were the only person I could bitch to, about anything and everything for as long as I needed, without a word of complaint from you. You were an amazing listener, with the best ways to make me feel better about whatever was wrong. I can only hope I was there for you in the same way.
A couple of weeks ago, I went over to see your parents. They really are everything you said about them. I completely agree with what Heather and Ali said--you are truly the perfect mix of the two of them. We ended up talking for over five hours--and the time flew right by. Exactly how it was talking with you.
I miss you terribly, Mikey. Everyone does. No one understands why this happened. Like your mom said, you're the only one who knows. I can't even begin to express how incredibly grateful I am that we got to spend time together that Monday before you left. Talking about college, the people we had known and didn't want to forget--and those we did.
You drove me crazy saying we weren't going to stay in touch at all--which was ridiculous because we stayed close throughout high school without ever having a class together. For a while, I thought you were serious--that we wouldn't talk because you didn't want to. Eventually I figured out that you were just trying to get a rise out of me. You just wanted me to tell you how wrong you were. I left your house that night looking forward to the phone calls from camp. One thing struck me as odd, however. The way you said goodbye was almost eerie. This is not something I thought about after the fact--I thought it was strange that night. You were very final with the goodbye. It wasn't just a "Bye, I'll see you when I get back", it was a long drawn out hug and a kiss on the cheek. At the time I thought it was a couple months premature--I expected something like that when we parted to go to school, but not when you were only going to be gone for two months. I can't believe that I have to visit Western and not visit you. It will be just like you "predicted". I won't be seeing you. However, at the time I just laughed it off, I thought you were being ridiculous. Like I'd ever forget to see you.
You made such an impact on my life. There are so many people that I like or really really dislike because of you (mostly girls hah). You had the power to change my opinion on most subjects unlike any other person. I trusted you and looked up to you in a way that I really can't even explain. There are so many things that I never would have tried unless I had been with you. For instance, one day we were bored at my house and hungry, so I was going to pop in a batch of cookies for us to munch on. Before I could put them in the oven, you took a couple of cookies and put them on a plate and put the plate in the microwave. So delicious.
I love you so much sweetie, I hope you're doing okay.
Love, Samantha
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