My mom and I were talking about my coming home for thanksgiving. Then it hit me... wow first of the holidays without Mikey. Completely unreal.
I noticed I have been sleeping a lot. Not like oversleeping-but sleeping the whole day. When I am at school or walking around campus or doing stuff like homework or watching TV...the one thing that is on my mind is- I cannot wait to get to sleep just so I could see you in my dreams again, to talk to you and feel those warm loveable hugs that you give.
I am so sorry for the pain your parents and sisters are feeling, and other people too…- they do not deserve it, at all. I hate feeling as if everything is back to "normal" or acting like everything is "normal" when its not...
Amanda and Michael
Amanda's Senior Picture
I hate knowing that there is going to be holidays and visits and I will not ever say the words "I CANT WAIT TO SEE MICHAEL!” ever again. I hate that I will not see you act goofy or hear you laugh the way that you always do and hearing you talk about cake and ice cream and pizza and many other subjects. I hate knowing that there is going to be weddings and you are not going to be in any of them. I hate knowing that I will not get to spend my long winter break snowboarding or skiing with you like we promised each other we would try to do. I hate knowing that you and I will never try to do a photo project together like we said we could try. I hate crying for you, every...single...day...even when I made a promise to keep your wishes...sometimes a promise is hard to keep when there is great pain.
The one thing that I do not hate…is how deep my love for you is. I am so grateful for the time that we have spent together-I will always treasure those memories.
I love you always and forever.
Amanda.
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